Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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