Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
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