When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Life is so much better after having sex.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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