He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
