you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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