i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
