No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
