party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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