Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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