I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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