the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Mom said you looked used
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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