3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
