I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Too much gin, very little bucket
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
