I just made out with a guy for $7.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
