my vag is so smooth its legendary
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just high enough for therapy.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
