6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
