I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
