so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
being pregnant is like rehab
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
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