I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
