I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Still dying that you shit outside
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
