He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
