is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
