I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
