Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
