I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
