i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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