Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
