I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
