Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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