Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
