Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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