i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
