watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
