yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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