So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize