We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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