Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize