Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
