she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize