No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
