you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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