did you get engaged???
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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