Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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