ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
