Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
