I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
