Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
