I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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