it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
