I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm at about main and main street
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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