I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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