can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
