Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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