Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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