I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Vodka?
Forever.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
