remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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