They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
