i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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