I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
