My Higher Power is John Stamos
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
the raccoons are back...
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